March 30th 2023

This year and leading up to being 40 has been a compounded jumble of what life will throw at you regardless of whether you are ready for it or not.  When I started this blog, I had the idea that I would be the fittest I’ve ever big at 40.  Much of that belief came from the fact that I was the fittest I’ve ever been at 30. When I was 30 I was a prime level personal trainer at a big box gym, was a single man w/ only a loyal mutt to worry about, and solely focused on my career advancement. I was at the gym 15 hours a day working and working out; my life revolved around that environment.

Fast forward to today, I’m 39 years old, I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years, I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter, and I’ve literally been building my fitness company from the ground up since 2020. That 30 year old and I are not the same person. This year started out great for fitness. I was on track to hit my goals and I was feeling pretty positive about everything. As the year has progressed, I have found it more and more difficult to maintain my progressions and it's been rough to admit it. 

The most recent of things to happen was, while doing a normal workout I do week in and week out, I felt a really hard pop on the top of my skull and got really disoriented.  Had to get two CT scans (head and spine) and an angiogram. The doctor said it was probably a bad muscle strain. Let’s be clear on this, I wasn’t doing anything I normally wouldn’t do, it just happened. About a day after the initial injury, my vertigo started up worse than it’s ever been.  We’re talking level 10 spinning in certain positions or lying down. It’s awful.

Two weeks of this shit and no closer to my goals. It’s enough to drive someone to the point of quitting because it’s like there’s no end to the constant “shit coming up” timeline that has been 2023. After reflection, there are several things that have not helped me in my quest to be fittest at 40 that I should have taken more into account. These are things you should review with yourself because they might also be hindering your progress.

1. I haven’t been sleeping well or getting enough sleep: It’s been the hardest thing to turn my mind off at the end of the day, be it a forced obstacle or just not being ready for sleep.  And when I sleep I can’t say it has always been restful

2. I’m under constant, heavy stress with building my business, trying to keep myself healthy, and trying to be present at home: I don’t really ever not feel stressed right now.  I’ve always been high stress but I don’t ever decompress.  It’s a constant struggle for me to keep everything moving the right direction

3. I’m not listening to my body enough:  I’d say the last 3 to months I’ve been so focused on just trying to get everything done, make sure I hit all my workouts and just be present everywhere that I’m not listening to the little cues my body is giving me about my energy levels, stamina and general well-being.

This is something most people can relate to and this is where most people throw in the towel. It gets to be overwhelming and the frustration can make you just give up.  

“Bad things keep happening so I’m just going to stop doing it because I’m tired of being hurt or failing to hit my goals.” 

I got to a low point last week when I was laid out from the injury and vertigo combo. I was stuck at home just sitting for days. My kid asked me a few times if I was sick or why I was not going to work. It f*cking hurts because she sees how hard I usually work.

If I’m being honest, based on setting up my SMART Goal, it would be almost impossible for me to hit my endgame goal, safely and sustainably by June 6th of this year but I’m not giving up. I’ve got a couple more days to recover from the vertigo and probably another 3 weeks of rehab to do on my head, neck and shoulder but I’m going to push to hit as close to my goal as I can because giving up would still be worse than coming up short. And really, following the process and moving forward is what really matters.

Get after it…